5/12/2008 sextafeira a tarde

Grey clouds circling around me, surrounding me. I want to hold the hand of the hollow body, want to bring back the depth of it's spirit. Feel free and threatned, dead and alive,happy and sad, calm and nervous at the same time. Have you ever tasted blood? Have you ever?Do you remember?The feeling, the pain, the anger, the loneliness? The lies, the unforgiving guilt...Remember the white angels i've dreamed of, the ones who could save everyithing... ..................................................................................................................... How do you feel about it?How does it feel to know that you've hurted me?How? Why? When?What was so perfect turned to be so empty. What started so deep became too shallow. And who are you? I don't know you...I cannot understand. I cannot feel. I cannot like it this way. Why?Why? why? why?Why have you waited to embrace me...my dear (where are you now?) Where are you?What did I do?What have you done? Falling...so deep into darkness that i can't get out...i cant go up. I cant breathe, there's no light. Catch me as I fall..lier! You won't! You are the beatiful black rose tainted with my blood. The spikes were yours. And the dream failed to reality. Take me as granted. Take me like if it was only my body and not my soul. Because anyway, it is vanishing into memories. Go ahead, yell at me, you've done it before. You've hurt me before.But not this way... It hurts because it doesnt. It kills for staying still. It chokes, your freezing hand around my neck. Can't you? can't you?Hell!!! DAMMIT! Why won't you see into my eyes?I want you to bring me to life, turn me alive. Like you did once...when we were one, when we thought as one. When we could understand each other. But now you won't explain yourself. You are no longer mine...i don't feel like it You don't need me anymore...you..you..Can we break apart? We're not togheter anymore...Not in soul, nor in mind, not in anything. Can we be just friend? Are we? What do I mean to you? I'm the body you claim as yours.I'm the girl you see and smile at. I'm the one who's always asking, who's always dreaming, who's not real. I'm the spoiled princess, I'm the worthless peasant, I'm the one you own, The one you can't understand. I'm the lonely one which you claim to be yours. Am I? am I yours? You...you're so far away from me...This time it's to far, it's a bigger distance... I don't want to kiss you. I don't want to hug you. I want to talk to you. I want to feel free to talk without being judged..But you are doing it, hurting me, judging me, taking me as yours. I want you to talk to me. I want to listen until the very end. Only then I will reply Do you hate me?Sometimes I think you do... Why wont you talk to me, tell me your point of view... If I tell you my problems you'll be practical, you'll try to give an answer. I want no answers, I want to know you... Tears and Pain...