don't Wake me....

I went to bed I was thinking about you...
It ain't the same since I'm living without you...

There I was, naked
there you were, naked
the bedroom was lovely, white lotus flowers floated on glass bowels of water
Red, pink, orange thin, transparent veils surrounded the bed, candles and incense lightened up the room.
It was just too perfect....you and I and nothing, no one else.
vanilla, strawberry and passion fruit were the scents surrounding us, our fingers interwined like our bodies and souls
"Is this real?" I asked
"It can be...." you answered
"can be?
"If you sleep forever, your dream will become your reality...."

Tears came up, and I awoke with them....

Random

I really do miss the time when the things that I wrote were beautiful to read...
I miss being able to translate all my feelings into a simple bunch of words or random drawings....
now i just tire myself out to say:
1% feelings
99 useless words
now I just tire myself out to draw:
100% beautiful persons
0 emotional flow...
The boredom of routine is gettin to me...and a way out is needed...
but how?

Avenged Sevenfold - I won't see you tonight

Avenged Sevenfold - I Won't See You Tonight Part 1

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and loved

Building up, inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me, you're not the one to place the blame
As bottles called my name, I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone. Please don't follow me tonight.
And while I'm gone, everything will be alright.

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

"When you can't stop thinking about someone...maybe they were supposed to be there...."

Why is it that when you feel like about to fall apart, the saddest song starts playing?
When you feel like the nightmare's over....you have a sweet dream that makes you worry more?
When everyone acts nice...you know there's something wrong?...

Regrets, anyone?

Again and again I find myself dwelling in past shadows...
I search in this year's memories for something positive. My love, only you.
For everything else is a big FAIL.
Away from family.
Away from friends.
Away from love.
Away from...civilization? Absolutely
Each day that goes by since I'm stuck in this end of the world seems like an all-new mind-numbing anesthesia.
Oh but how can I even think of saying that I was never the perfect little girl wearing pink?
It's not fair how people have to choose the path they will have their entire life at....14 years old....
-and then they say "oh at least if I had known...." but they don't know. No one cares about giving them a sample of what the future will be. no one ever warns them than this is not a game and it cannot be reseted and played again.
Uh nice, such deep thoughts...like...
Nice people that say nce stuff. Like "Do not worry, I will be there for you whenever u need"
So why is it, that when I cry, I'm always alone? No one's there to give me a blanket to run away from the cold...and no one's there to hold my hand when I seek for the blade, and no one's ever there to hold my forehead when my heart tries to escape trough my mouth, away from the suffering.
When the time comes, there are no friends, no sisters, no lovers around. And one struggles alone just to keep the pieces of oneself in place...or what a mess it would be...