Regrets, anyone?

Again and again I find myself dwelling in past shadows...
I search in this year's memories for something positive. My love, only you.
For everything else is a big FAIL.
Away from family.
Away from friends.
Away from love.
Away from...civilization? Absolutely
Each day that goes by since I'm stuck in this end of the world seems like an all-new mind-numbing anesthesia.
Oh but how can I even think of saying that I was never the perfect little girl wearing pink?
It's not fair how people have to choose the path they will have their entire life at....14 years old....
-and then they say "oh at least if I had known...." but they don't know. No one cares about giving them a sample of what the future will be. no one ever warns them than this is not a game and it cannot be reseted and played again.
Uh nice, such deep thoughts...like...
Nice people that say nce stuff. Like "Do not worry, I will be there for you whenever u need"
So why is it, that when I cry, I'm always alone? No one's there to give me a blanket to run away from the cold...and no one's there to hold my hand when I seek for the blade, and no one's ever there to hold my forehead when my heart tries to escape trough my mouth, away from the suffering.
When the time comes, there are no friends, no sisters, no lovers around. And one struggles alone just to keep the pieces of oneself in place...or what a mess it would be...